STARRING: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

Vamping: Stewart and Pattinson

It’s not compulsory to have read Stephenie Meyer’s shlocky, addictive 2005 vampire fantasy Twilight before sitting down to Thirteen director Catherine Hardwicke’s sleekly literal film of it. But if you’re one of the millions who have done your homework, your pressing question will probably be: do Stewart and Pattinson measure up as small-town high-school new girl Bella Swan and her teenage vampire sweetie, Edward Cullen?


Yes and no. As Edward, Pattinson is broody and alabaster-skinned with a defiant shock of hair and a touch-me-not ’tude. And like Stewart, he takes his part very seriously — as you would if your character was condemned to immortal suffering.


But while Edward’s dreamy cool is as chilled as it should be, to me, the central weakness of the film mirrors that of the book it so faithfully shadows: Bella, whose swoony story this is, is a dreary little miss with the personality of a nose ring. And if you really don’t give a toss about her, you really don’t invest in her and Edward’s potentially lethal relationship.